What Are You Really Looking For? Understanding the Deeper Needs Behind Life’s Stuck Points

Angela Olson, LCPC
Jun 24
2 min read

Most people don’t start therapy because everything is going well. They come because something feels off. Stuck. Empty. Overwhelming.

But here’s the thing—beneath the surface symptoms (anxiety, burnout, frustration, numbness), there’s usually a deeper human need that isn’t being met. And understanding what you’re actually craving can be the first step toward feeling better.

Let’s look at some of the common needs that shape how we feel, act, and show up in life:

Stability & Security

When life feels unpredictable or heavy, you may crave safety, control, or routine. You might be saying things like:

“I’m tired of feeling on edge.”
“I just want some peace and consistency.”

Therapy can help you rebuild your foundation—emotionally, financially, relationally—so you feel more grounded.

Connection & Belonging

We’re wired to connect. If you feel lonely, misunderstood, or distant in your relationships, you’re likely needing more love, companionship, or community. You might think:

“No one really gets me.”
“I feel alone even when I’m with people.”

In therapy, we explore how to reconnect—with others and with yourself.

Meaning & Fulfillment

Sometimes, life looks fine on the outside—but feels hollow on the inside. That’s often a sign that your need for purpose, passion, or legacy isn’t being met. You may wonder:

“What’s the point?”
“I’m just going through the motions.”

Together, we can clarify what lights you up—and how to move toward it.

Achievement & Recognition

Maybe you’re doing everything “right,” but still feel like it’s never enough. You might be chasing success, respect, or independence, but it’s costing your peace.

“Why don’t I feel proud of myself?”
“I’m exhausted from always trying to prove something.”

Therapy can help untangle the pressure from your worth—and redefine what success means to you.

Relief & Escape

In moments of stress or pain, we all need an exit ramp. Whether it’s zoning out, scrolling endlessly, or overworking, it’s often a sign you need rest, peace, or freedom.